another blank page
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Looking back, I do kind of laugh.
I was sitting at a coffee shop in my hometown on the outskirts of Nashville, Tennessee. My computer was propped open to a painfully simple Google doc titled “New IC Handbook.” I was waiting on the girl who I had just hired to be my first full-time independent contractor.
Two weeks prior, that New IC Handbook was just a blank page. And two weeks prior, that girl I was waiting on had just had quit her perfectly stable full-time job (one with all the bells and whistles like a salary, benefits and PTO) and had decided to work with me (who had no bells or whistles to offer).
That original blank page was actually a really, really intimidating blank page.
Much like the one I’m writing on right now.
I was so nervous to get started. I had gigantic dreams to grow my one-woman show of a travel agency to a team of successful travel advisors who would take the industry by storm… but taking those first baby steps made me feel so small. Inadequate. Insecure.
“What am I doing here? Who do I think I am? I can’t train someone… Some days I still don’t even know what I’m doing!”
“What if this fails, and then this really nice girl has just made the biggest mistake of her life – all because of me?”
I’ll skip to the end of the story and let you know that it did work.
My terrible, first draft of a company training manual somehow managed to serve its purpose; and my first full-time advisor ended up being one of the best ones I ever had. And as icing on the cake, we’re still friends today – even now that I sold that business and am no longer her ‘brave and fearless leader’ that she would always refer to me as with a grin — even though I always thought she believed that way more than I did…
But my Lord, that training guide was awful (sorry, Molly!)
Draft one of my training materials. I kept a copy so I could look back and see how far I’d come!
A few different versions of the training guides and my whole file folder of notes for teaching. It grew and evolved so much!
The differences in size make me laugh now!
Over the next few years I would rework my training guide before each new hire and make it better than the last.
And eventually, that 12 page Google doc that only took two hours to embarrassingly fumble through with shaking hands at a coffee shop — well, it evolved into a week-long training course that laid the groundwork for the team we would eventually grow to become… that would make the company incomparably better than the original one-woman show it started as.
That intimidating blank Google doc led the company to millions of dollars in annual sales, growing a team of young entrepreneurs, and honestly — some of the best years of my life doing the things that I loved.
And as CRINGY as that first draft was, I’m proud of it. And I’m thankful that my younger self was brave enough to put herself out there and just go for it.
Brave enough to risk failure. Brave enough to risk embarrassing herself. Brave enough to risk trying, even though she didn’t feel 100% qualified.
After selling my travel company, I knew more than ever that I was hooked on entrepreneurship. And I felt a nudge to begin sharing some of the things I’ve learned so far in my journey. So, I decided to start my website.
I wanted a place to hold my stories and reflections. And offer encouragement and direction. Hopefully a little inspiration for anyone who stumbled upon it, too.
But I’ll be honest with you: staring at a blank Squarespace template for the first time in years, starting from scratch on things like Canva graphics, color palettes, and bringing up a nostalgic blank Google doc to draft this first journal-type-blog entry? All of these things shot me right back into those feelings I had when starting my first business.
Only this time, those feelings were familiar. Inspiring, in a way. And when I thought back to the younger version of myself who was brave enough to just get started, I was encouraged by her.
And maybe you can be, too.
So thanks for reading my first entry birthed from another intimidating blank page. I’m glad you’re here with me – because I’m just getting started!
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